Dead End

I can’t stop crying right now. S1 reeled me in last night, he was home from the navy for his brothers wedding and he wanted to see me last night and I almost went.  I knew if I went that something bad would happen but I was so lonely I was thinking it would just be nice it would be just to get held. I didn’t go in the end, we had a long discussion about the matter and I just couldn’t do it. But now I suddenly feel as if I have no prospects in life….here I am almost 22 and still single. I don’t have a job and with the economy right now its proving pretty impossible to find one. Its gotten to the point when I’m actually considering joining the military. I mean my school loans would be paid off and I would save up enough to buy a house; which is a goal I have been working towards for a long time. I think I will give it 6 months…I will be done with my undergraduate degree in that time… I will hopefully have my head on a little straighter. Joining the military would make my dad so proud…he was in the Air Force and I know he wants a least one of his kids to join. I guess only time will tell.

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