Life is like a box of chocolates….

Yesterday was stressful to say the least. I woke up early to get ready to go to my grandparents for the ride up to the hospital for my Grandmother’s surgery.  My Grandma had to have a torn ligament taken out of her knee and I didn’t want my Grandpa to have to sit at the hospital by himself waiting. Needless to say I was a nervous wreck. As the body gets older it tolerates general anesthetic less and less so I was worried my Grandma would be very ill when she woke up. Luckily the doctor gave her some very strong anti-nausea medication so she was fine. As I sat up at the hospital it suddenly occurred to me that my grandparents have been together for 53 years. My Grandma refused to take off her ring because she never has in those 53 years they have been married. When I think about my grandparents being younger I wonder if they knew what they future would bring them. Surely they did not expect  having 6 girls and never having a son. I cannot even imagine the disappointment my Grandpa felt in not being able to produce a son that he wanted so dearly. I know he loves all his girls but every father wants a son to carry on the namesake of the family.  Was there ever a moment when they doubted they would make it this far? I sometimes wonder the way they argue, but yesterday I did not even question their love  for each other. My grandfather is usually very talkative but when we were sitting in the surgical waiting room for the surgery to be completed he sat silently with his head bowed. I knew he was praying but I have never seen that look of concern on his face before; he has always been the strong one.

I have come to the conclusion that life is not always going to take the path that we want it too. There will be bumps and bruises along the journey…we will have to face difficult things that we don’t necessarily think we can push through.  But as long as we have got someone to help us along it gets easier to muddle through the hard stuff.  That’s why in my opinion people should set a goal to try to have someone to spend their life with. I’m not saying go out and get married to the first person you meet; and I know marriage isn’t for everyone. But it’s nice to think of down the road growing old with someone who loves you for you.

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Shopping!!!

I have come to the conclusion that shopping can cure even a broken heart. I mean think about it you just lost the love of your life so what do you do? That’s right folks go out and spend some money. From across the room you spot the perfect pair of shoes…ahhh shoes my one true weakness.

The possibilities when it comes to shoes are endless. You have flats, boots, sandals, pumps, sneakers…and then sometimes you even get combinations of these glorious and beautiful shoes. When you put on a type of shoe you can take on a whole different persona. It is a glorious thing. I dream of one day completing law school and becoming a high class lawyer and putting on an expensive pair of pumps. Those pumps will make me feel powerful…better.  I dream of pencil skirts and high heels; long curly locks of hair. Yes, I dream of being the perfect beautiful lawyer. I hope it happens. But for now, onward to the shoe section and those gorgeous black heels that are calling my name.

Meeting with old friends =)

Today was a good day. I went to the zoo with the parental units and the little brother. It is my conclusion that you are never to old to go to the zoo.  Here I am almost 22 and I still love seeing all the animals; enriching myself with knowledge about where they come from and what they eat. It never gets boring and you always see some pretty  interesting things. After a hot walk through the zoo my Mom treated the family to Dairy Queen where I preceded to down a large Cappuccino Heath Blizzard….very yummy and I definitely recommend it to you if you like Cappuccino.  I also got to hang out with an old friend today which was very nice. Often friends grow apart, unfortunately it is a fact of life. But I always look forward to the day when I get a call asking me to hang out. John and I went for a walk by the Grand River and I got all muddy which he found pretty amusing, I however did not. We talked a lot about his failed relationship and him leaving for the Navy in November….and also about David. It was exciting to finally talk about David to someone who is not related to me; it in a sense makes things seem more real and less frightening.  Friends have the most obscure point of view on life; making you take a second look at things and helping prevent you from getting your head to far into the clouds. While talking to John I remembered a piece of advice that I gave my 16-year-old cousin “Never let a guy become your whole world no matter how much you love him.” It’s important that while your in a relationship you take time for yourself and friends. It helps the relationship maintain clarity and make that time that you spend together all the more special =)

Come away with me…the best is yet to be….

I’ve been on a music listening spree lately….anything soft and lovely I find myself totally immersed in. Norah Jones and Fiona Apple are my favorites right now. What makes music so attractive to us? Is it the background noise, the voices of the singers, or the lyrics. To me it’s a combination of all of those but I find myself most drawn to the lyrics. Take Norah Jones Come Away with Me, there is a line from that song that just makes me sigh and know that love is possible.

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me…..

It’s such a romantic song and the lyrics really make you think about the person that you love or maybe even just about the possibility of a love so great that you feel protected in their arms during a rainstorm. While listening to this song it’s almost possible to feel a man’s arms around you strong and enveloping. Then of course there’s the rain….you can here it’s distinctive drip drop on the tin roof. When I hear this song I think of David…of future possibilities. Of that sweet kiss that we shared and how I hope it happens again. This song seems to make anything all your troubles just melt away by giving the hope that great things are on the way, you just have to wait out the rainstorm safely in your lovers arms.

Love

What is love? Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. When I look at my grandparents I see love, they have been married for over 50 years and still have that look of peer passion in their eyes everytime they look at one another.  I think everyone in life should strive to meet the person who gives them butterflies, and for everyday that you spend with that person those butterflies should never go away. When you kiss them the rest of the world should go away and it’s just you two, lips touching and heart throbbing.  I remember one time in particular at my grandparents when I was spending the night. I woke up to my grandma cooking me and grandpa breakfast….bacon and eggs. While the bacon was cooking my grandpa walked up behind my grandma; tightly wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the neck.  When she turned around she had a look of pure admiration in her eyes and you could tell she loved my grandpa without a doubt. So my advice to you….never stop searching for true love and never settle for anything less than butterflies. =)

He’s Special

Today I had a date with my friend David. Let me tell  you this; if David was a poem…he would be a love poem. He makes my heart melt. He’s so funny and I always laugh when I think of all the good times we have had. Today we went furniture shopping at Art Van…because as you all know I am on the search for a house! When the sales lady walked over to ask and  asks if we need help David says “We were just looking at that bedding because it matched the curtains that we liked.” It so did match the curtains that I found and was absolutely in love with. But what amazed me more was the fact that David remembered those curtains. I never have had a guy remember something like that, I was in complete and utter awe of him at that moment. So happy! The best part of the day….spending it with him and the kiss =). David is a good kisser, the perfect amount of soft lips. I also liked how we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I have to order the messiest dish…Wings with bone in.  I managed to make a complete mess of myself and he says I look cute when I am eating. Ahhh..can’t wait to see what happens next.

Dead End

I can’t stop crying right now. S1 reeled me in last night, he was home from the navy for his brothers wedding and he wanted to see me last night and I almost went.  I knew if I went that something bad would happen but I was so lonely I was thinking it would just be nice it would be just to get held. I didn’t go in the end, we had a long discussion about the matter and I just couldn’t do it. But now I suddenly feel as if I have no prospects in life….here I am almost 22 and still single. I don’t have a job and with the economy right now its proving pretty impossible to find one. Its gotten to the point when I’m actually considering joining the military. I mean my school loans would be paid off and I would save up enough to buy a house; which is a goal I have been working towards for a long time. I think I will give it 6 months…I will be done with my undergraduate degree in that time… I will hopefully have my head on a little straighter. Joining the military would make my dad so proud…he was in the Air Force and I know he wants a least one of his kids to join. I guess only time will tell.

Just Goes to Show…

Men will wait around for a girl to make up her mind just like women will wait for a guy. I have a friend named Charlie, he is the sweetest guy…but when it comes to woman he is a little naive. He dated this girl for five years…almost positive that she was the girl he was going to marry. That was until she cheated on him. Charlie stuck around hoping they could make things work; putting his all into the relationship when she gave so little. A week ago Charlie and I went to go see Toy Story 3 together. We had a good time and for the first time in a long time Charlie was finally resigning himself to the fact that maybe he was better off without her. I mean she had a new guy and was always posting pictures of the two of them together on Facebook. Yesterday Charlie sent me a text message saying that he had kissed her and that she told him she loved him.  He asked me for advice saying “Why would she stay with him if she loves me?” I had to be a friend I couldn’t just blow him off even though I felt he was being entirely too ridiculous by even continuing to talk to her. “Charlie, she can’t make up her mind.” That’s all I said. He said its not the waiting for her to make up her mind that bugs him its the not knowing that sucks. What do you do when your friend is being stupid about a relationship? I have learned sometimes its just best to let them find out for themselves that things aren’t going to work out. Because sometimes saying something will hurt a really good friendship. I’m hoping Charlie will make the right choice and not go back to someone who hurt him so much; but that decision will be up to him.

Introductions all Around!

Well let me start of by saying HI! I am Samantha most people just call me Sam though =) I am almost 22 years old and will be starting at Aquinas in Grand Rapids in the Fall as a transfer from Ferris State University; and I am on the search for the perfect guy. I know, I know perfection doesn’t exist. But this guy will be perfect in my eyes because he loves me for me. It’s been almost a year and a half since I have been in any kind of relationship. Lets just say my last relationship wasn’t the most healthy. No I was not abused, but I was not loved either. I was emotionally distraught by putting everything I had into a relationship that didn’t give anything in return. When it ended I was hurt but anyone could have seen it coming from a mile away. We were complete opposites and I loved him more than he ever loved me. But within a couple of months of the breakup I was ready to move on…and still am. But something is missing….a guy to move on with.

My mom says I am picky…I find flaw with every guy I meet; but is it so bad that I want someone who I have sparks with when he kisses me? Who doesn’t kiss like a fish?? Who can carry on a conversation without me doing all the talking??? I don’t think it is…after all we are talking about the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I want what any girl wants…true love. Your probably thinking at this point that maybe I am searching for the impossible. I however do not think this is true; I know somewhere out there exists the perfect guy for me. But the hunt for this perfect guy has been anything but easy.

After the breakup with the guy I will now refer to as S2 ( I will explain my system later) there was a 6 months of no dating. I moved home and most importantly back in with my parents. I dated Paul who was far too pushy for me, than Pat…also too pushy. But they were excellent kissers both of them. After Pat came Mike, who I meant off of the internet on E-Harmony. Now I am not knocking internet dating because I know a lot of people find there soul mates on there but its not for me. Mike was a very nice guy but was exactly my height. I like a taller guy for some odd reason, maybe its the whole prince charming thing…anyway Mike was a homebody and I like to get out. Suffice it to say it didn’t last very long. After Mike I decided it was best to stay away from guys from a while. I just started hanging out with my best friend where we would go to the clubs and dance the night away. I like the freedom of dancing at a club with a guy because there is no strings attached. Until I meant Jay, he was cute, nice, and asked for my phone number. For our first date Jay and I went to the beach….he brought food and drinks which gave him a plus in my book. But after several more dates it was clear he couldn’t carry on a conversation so I decided we were better off as friends. But enough about the guys I have dated recently I would like to explain the reason I call the ex-boyfriend S2. I have dated guys whose names start all with the same letter. Lets see first S1 and S2 (I prefer not to say there names because they know me better than the other guys) Than Jake, John, and Jay, Pat and Paul; and lastly Mike and Mark. I have decided that my perfect guy is a guy whose name DOES NOT start with those letters!

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